How client bullying is single-handedly ruining the lives of vets.

Between verbal abuse and cyberbullying, veterinarians and their staff are having to navigate practicing in a time of threats and cancel culture.

To my fellow vets,

Working long hours and giving themselves tirelessly to their patients...I see you, I am you, and I struggle with you. I know how frustrating it can be to feel like no matter how hard you try to please everyone, you inevitably piss a few people off. They aren't happy with their bill, they didn't like your bedside manner, they didn't feel they received the time and attention they deserved, or they straight up don't like the options you've presented. They write that crappy 1 star "but if I could give zero stars I would"review on Google to really drive it home. While a few bad reviews don't define you as a person or doctor, we all know how furious we feel when we read them and immediately know which client wrote it. Recalling how much patience we exercised and how empathetic we were in the room with them, they still couldn't resist verbally bashing you and your hospital. It sucks, but all we can do is ensure we continue to put our best foot forward and practice the best medicine for our patients. It can be an infuriating reminder that while we are physically treating the animals, it is actually their humans that require the most specialized care.

I remember as a new vet 1 year out of my internship, I had a young dachshund come in after being attacked by his housemate. He was in bad shape, shocky, painful, and I could see down to his spinal cord through the missing chunk of flesh that had been removed by the offending dog. The owners had limited money and could not afford referral and the likely extensive surgery the pet would require if he survived the initial shock. I gave them all of their options, and they eventually accepted that it was in the pet's best interest to be humanely euthanized. But not before the burly man that accompanied the dog got in my face, yelled at me, called me names, and eventually put his fist through the drywall of the exam room a few feet from where I was standing. I left the room shaking uncontrollably. I was terrified to go back in there to put their sweet pup to sleep for fear that my hands would be shaking too much to hit a vein to administer the euthanasia solution, or that he would continue to berate me while I was in his presence. It was awful, but it wouldn't be the last time I was in this kind of situation, and for many of you, it goes much further than this.

For many of us, we will leave situations like this frustrated and confused but will be lucky enough to have overwhelmingly wonderful and positive experiences and interactions with our clients that will remind us of how wonderful our jobs are. For some of you, however, there can be long-term emotional scars that can make you feel broken and lost and questioning why you chose this career. To those of you who feel this way, hang in there. You are not broken and you can recover from these encounters. There are wonderful clients out there who would be grateful for your compassion, intelligence, kindness, and dedication. If you feel unsupported by your management team in these situations, it's time to reconsider if this is the place for you. If these interactions have left you dreading future client interactions, consider other careers within veterinary medicine that will still allow you to do doctor things with limited direct contact with owners (consulting, pharmaceuticals, poison control hotlines, or hospice/euthanasia services). If you are still struggling, please talk to someone. Therapy is more accessible and affordable than ever with platforms like betterhelp.com, and many commercial insurances now have coverage for some mental health services. Not One More Vet (NOMV) is an excellent online community of veterinarians who are there to support you as well. Please don't suffer in silence. What we do is hard and we need each other to get through the tough days.

...and for those we have lost to suicide...we miss you and we will support each other relentlessly in your memory.

To the pet owner,

Thanks for trusting us with your pet's care. It is a privilege we do not take for granted. We know animals are the best and nothing is worse than watching them hurt or suffer. We know times can be hard and we may never know a person's circumstances. That is why it's inevitable that we may have interactions with each other that are less than pleasant. There may be family members sick at home, layoffs, overwhelming bills, the list goes on and on.

We do our best to navigate all of the different personalities we interact with every day and try to communicate with them in a way that works best for each individual. While you are sitting in that exam room with your sick dog or cat, however, there are possibly 5 or more rooms with other pet owners feeling just as overwhelmed and scared as you. And there is a high probability that one of those patient's life is in the balance. The vet that just walked in to do a physical exam on your pet may have just come out of a room to tell an owner their dog has terminal cancer, or their cat is in renal failure, or they had to console a family as they said goodbye to their best friend of 14 years. We may experience a swing of 3 different emotions in the span of 15 minutes. Imagine having to communicate professionally and patiently when you have that emotional baggage.

We do our best, and sometimes we fail. That doesn't mean you deserve a less-than-stellar visit with us. If we could go back in time, we would try to change things. If you genuinely feel like you did not receive the service or quality of care you deserve, you should absolutely speak up, speak being the key word here. Voice your concerns if you don't understand what was said during your visit and make sure you leave that visit confident you have all of the information you need. Kindly ask to speak to a manager or set up a phone review with them so that we can discuss your concerns as a group and make changes. We always strive to be better and we take your criticism seriously.

When you take to social media, these words can have devastating effects on the staff. There have been many recent examples in the news of owners writing posts on social media attacking veterinary clinics. Some of these posts can garner world-wide attention that lead to death threats to the staff and permanent staining of that doctor's name. No veterinarian wants a case to end in euthanasia or owner surrender because an owner did not have the financial ability for treatment. I have said it before and will say it again, affording your pet's care is not our job, it is your responsibility. You gained that responsibility the day you made that pet yours. I know it seems unfair to be faced with such difficult decisions, but we can only provide options. Many of us will go through desperate measures to make things work out for you and your pet, but some situations are just too dire. We sympathize with you. Please, use your words carefully though. The loss of a pet is hard enough to bear, let's not risk further loss. Veterinarians are 3.5x more likely to commit suicide than the general population according to an article written by Time (https://time.com/5670965/veterinarian-suicide-help/). Cyberbullying and harassment may be the final tipping point.

Most of you reading this are the typical awesome pet owner who shows up on time for their appointments, laughs or cries with us, shares their stories about their furbabies with us, and respect that we are professionals with a very specialized skillset that is worth every penny spent. Thank you for filling our lives with joy and positivity and for taking such wonderful care of your pets and your vets. Maybe you can share this story with another pet owner so we can raise more awareness and continue to create lasting bonds between vets and pet owners.

From DVM, with Love.